Patriotism means that you want your country to thrive, to prosper, to do well and be good. As a republic, we are great when we do good, more so than when we "do well." I would commend all proud Americans, regardless of personal identity, politics or philosophy, to embrace patriotism not as the last refuge of the scoundrel but as the first love of the optimist who wishes his country to live well.

Regardless of how we perceive the war in Iraq - this blog's opposition to it is well documented - we should revere the sacrifices of our all-volunteer military. We owe them the duty of our best wisdom, and that may mean in a proper case severe criticism of civilian leadership - criticism that they themselves generally cannot offer to their chain of command (with some exceptions.) We who oppose the war in Iraq - or any military policy - should not allow ourselves the obscenity of distancing ourselves from the widows (and widowers, infrequently), the orphans and the bereft of those who, in the name of service to country, surrender their last breath. We should stand in solidarity with them and with the patriotism that led these brave young men and women to risk and ultimately surrender the ultimate sacrifice.

Warm weather approaches and the "protest season" is upon us. If you will permit the opinion of one crotchety blogger to influence you en route to a war protest, I would beg you the following. Men, if you go, please wear your best clothing. Shave and get a haircut. Wear not your tie-dye clothes that may impress that hippie cutie across Pennsylvania Avenue. No, put your best suit on the line, or stay home. Fighting wars is no joke and telling the executive and legislative branches of government how to fight or stop a war deserves not your Grateful Dead worst but your Grateful Living best. Shine your shoes. Women, please dress as you would for your grandmother's 90th birthday, as many of the people who are serving country and flag in an unpopular war will die before their 30th. If you are not willing to risk your best clothing in a protest, what does that say about either your seriousness or that of your cause?

If you are given an opportunity to party it up after a protest, well, maybe you should do that. Life is short and people should try to enjoy it. But maybe you might consider throwing a few bucks also to the National Military Family Association, which tries to help families of veterans who get injured and have to learn how to take a crap while sitting on only one thigh, or have to try to keep day care coordinated on one continent while one of the parents is trying hard not to die from an IED on another continent. Perhaps you can dine not sumptuously post-protest in Adams Morgan or Georgetown, but at McDonalds and send an extra 10 bucks their way.

If you are going to go protest, maybe you should start the day at the Tomb of the Unknowns in Arlington Cemetery. One need not take a foolish rose-colored view of our often flawed civilian leadership, past or present, in order to show respect, to weigh more fully the sacrifices, of the uniformed fallen. Nor should doing so constitute a denial of the occasional lapse or shocking failure in our military. But if we will be an effective citizenry, rather than subjects entertained with bread, circuses and (in this country) politicized breast-beating religious piety from our elected officials, we should grab our government by the shoulders and recognize that WE are the final check and balance against the entire government or at least its tyrannical or foolish capacities.

I am glad that we have a Statue of Liberty, very glad. I am also glad that we do not have a Statue of Responsibility. Taking responsibility requires action, effort, dirt under the fingernails, a strained shoulder. Responsibility is better suited not for statues but for live performance - by mature, sober men and women. We need to be our own monument, our own reminder. The soldier, the sailor, the Marine, the airman must obey any lawful order come down ultimately from civilian leadership. We who criticize this administration - or any other, Democratic, Republican, Libertarian or heaven help us Ralph -----ng Nader - must recognize that we have no right to assume haughtiness or distance. Citizenship is not a spectator sport in which we may simply curse the coach and order another 8 dollar Bud from the beer guy.

Citizenship in matters of peace and war is not a perch but a trench of its own, and respect to the women and men in uniform demands no less than our most responsible, morally committed and mature response. If maturity comes hard, a view of the crosses, stars and other grave markers at Arlington may help.

Similarly, when we criticize President Bush, we should do so not from some arrogant perch but from a sense of moral duty to call him to better stewardship and candor, to urge him to serve more faithfully as a trustee for the lives of the thousands who will die in this war as it continues, if it continues. We should protest if at all not to prove how cool we are - if you want to be cool, stay home and be a cool blogger - but to urge the President to fulfill his oath more faithfully. While I have grave doubts about the possibility of any suasion on this current President, perhaps strong, serious, sober and responsible protests against the war will lead those non-leaders in Congress and among the candidates for president not to view ending the war as a game for tie-dye wearing children, but as a categorical, geopolitical and domestic political imperative.

If I sound a little more full of myself on this topic than my average (I know, how hard to gauge at that magnitude...) it's because as the son of a Vietnam vet and as someone who did not grow up in progressive culture I see a cultural divide between protesting out of arrogance and protesting out of moral duty. While I don't think that "evil tie-dye wearing horrors" are the menace that right-wingers make them out to be, it is far more powerful to show not joy or frizzy hair or self-importance but a show of stoic duty, resolve and commitment. Working people in this country live by these values; we are wise to let our appreciation of these values show through during protest season.

And to those who support this war, who think it is wise, necessary or prudent towards the national interest, please restrain any temptation to castigate the opposition as dirty hippies. For every hippie freak that the cameras will catch, you will see many more less-flamboyant critics of this Iraq war, many of them veterans or families of veterans themselves. We are your neighbors, your fellow citizens. Even if we disagree, you may have something useful to teach us. Maybe if we are wise, we will listen.