Tale of a Jilted Tearoom Click HERE to Bring Up Full Post

"The American people already know that Bill Clinton is a bad boy - a naughty boy. I’m going to speak out for the citizens of my state, who in the majority think that Bill Clinton is probably even a nasty, bad, naughty boy.” - Senator Larry Craig (Republican-Idaho), 1998

The Republic has withstood the drama, denials and ultimate disgrace of anti-gay, right-wing Republican Larry Craig, who now stands convicted by his own statement under oath that he engaged in the conduct described by a Minnesota police officer who arrested Craig at the Lindbergh (ugh) Terminal I. As usual, The Smoking Gun has links to most of the salient documents. (HAT TIP Zuzu.)

Of greater interest to me is the police interrogation of Craig. Now Craig is over 60 years of age and has been in the Senate for over 15 years, on Capitol Hill since he was 25. So he should have a passing familiarity with the U.S. Constitution, one would hope, which provides an absolute right to remain silent, to say "jack" to the police. The Minnesota constitution does likewise, though one should forgive the "just-passing-through", non-attorney Senator Craig for not knowing that. But the U.S. Constitution which he had taken multiple oaths over multiple decades - he should have known that.

But in case the good Senator forgot, the office read the Senator his 5th Amendment rights, per Dragnet, as can be heard and read here at TPM Muckraker.

At least one witness claims to have had sexual relations in the Washington Union Station mens room with Craig some years back. And it's this bathroom, this neglected tea-room for politicos, lobbyists, para-government anonymous travelers and the presumed wayward tourist to which I turn my attentions.

Union Station is one of the top three or four railroad stations in the U.S. for total passenger volume. (This is not saying much, of course, because the U.S. treats rail shabbily, more shabbily than any European could possibly imagine.) I use this Union Station bathroom infrequently for purposes entirely consistent with the intentions of the architects, civil engineers and D.C. building permit authorities who authorized its construction. It is a disgusting place, 100% of the time, even if one does not dare "gaze" into the cracks between the stalls. I think it is the unlawful permanent residence of several people, and baggage does occasionally crowd the front of a stall, though whether that's a legitimate tactic against baggage theft by a resident or a passer-through, rather than an obscurement of a different violation of the D.C. Code, I cannot say and would rather not contemplate too deeply.

But I cannot help feeling that the Union Station "tea room" that this bathroom is said to be, now feels jilted. Larry Craig appears to have plied his tea room trade in, of all places, Minneapolis. Yet Union Station is only 6 blocks from his DC office. So close, and yet so far. The one widely-reported incident in Minneapolis cannot but leave the poor, under-appreciated restroom at Union Station feeling a little miffed. Railroads have lost out in federal funding, support and construction to airlines even though railroads are often more time and energy efficient for medium-distance travel and involve fewer (though NOT zero) security concerns. So of course Union Station will feel slighted.

Washington is a bigger and wealthier city than Minneapolis. So I suspect there is a bit of the resentment of the fallen nobleman jealous of the poorer but, in reality, freer merchant class, giving rise to bitchy snobbishness. Union Station has a statue of civil rights and labor organizer A. Philip Randolph, who was not gay but who associated closely with gay allies. Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport's main terminal is named after a vicious anti-semite and Nazi sympathizer who, in total random coincidence, shot on the same riflery team as the Crab's grandfather at the University of Wisconsin. So it probably burns Union Station's, er, chaps, to lose out in attention to such an unworthy venue. Especially since Washington may now be the largest gay city proportional to population in the country, approaching San Francisco and perhaps surpassing it.

The entire incident has made me more, not less, supportive of gay marriage. I wish that Craig were gay married right now, and had been so three months ago, for several reasons. One is that if Craig were same-sex married, he probably would not be an advocate against same-sex marriage in the halls of Congress. Another would be that he would be less likely to have done what he did, though in fairness plenty of men (and, my divorce attorney colleagues keep reminding me, women, usually with greater discretion) openly married in opposite sex marriages do reckless and brazen things as well.

But no matter what I think, Union Station's feelings will remain tender for some time, no doubt. Show Union Station some love, though I would recommend visiting Sbarro's or the newsrack instead of the john if you have a choice.